A Note.

I feel that part of my healing process will have to be posting here.  This is what I hope to be the 1st of many notes to my dad.  Please stick with me while I let some of this out.  It might have some language in it that you may not find pleasing.  That is the least of my concern.  I have to open the taps on this mental pressure before I either snap, or start breaking things.  So, with that said…

I fucking miss you like hell. My head hurts and heart aches more everyday since you are gone.  I want to tell you thank you for teaching me about zen, life, music, movies.  I want to thank you for giving me the blueprint on how to be a man, father and husband and friend.

I realize I still have a lot to learn, and even more important a lot to put into practice.  I hope I am making you proud.

I am doing what I thought you would do.  Lose myself in the music.  Invariably there is a song that plays that triggers a memory of you.  I can deal with the memories, what I can’t deal with is the fact that we can’t make any more.

Everyone around me has been amazingly supportive.  The people I thought wouldn’t be overly concerned with my well being are the ones that are making it a little easier during this time.

I can’t think of anything else to say at the moment.  I hope this helps me.

Thanks for reading. Like I said, I hope this helps.

– James

—————-
Music Played While Writing This Post:

Stevie Ray Vaughan – Texas Flood

Ozzy Osbourne – Gets Me Through

Rory Gallagher – As The Crow Flies

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    • April Schultz
    • July 6th, 2009

    Thank you, James. Thank you for sharing Gary with us, then and now.

    • Don B.
    • July 8th, 2009

    Your Dad’s birthday came up on my Facebook reminders, and it hit me like a hammer to the heart. I wish I had one-tenth the relationship with my own father that you did with yours. Keep healing.

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