Posts Tagged ‘ Life ’

A Note.

I feel that part of my healing process will have to be posting here.  This is what I hope to be the 1st of many notes to my dad.  Please stick with me while I let some of this out.  It might have some language in it that you may not find pleasing.  That is the least of my concern.  I have to open the taps on this mental pressure before I either snap, or start breaking things.  So, with that said…

I fucking miss you like hell. My head hurts and heart aches more everyday since you are gone.  I want to tell you thank you for teaching me about zen, life, music, movies.  I want to thank you for giving me the blueprint on how to be a man, father and husband and friend.

I realize I still have a lot to learn, and even more important a lot to put into practice.  I hope I am making you proud.

I am doing what I thought you would do.  Lose myself in the music.  Invariably there is a song that plays that triggers a memory of you.  I can deal with the memories, what I can’t deal with is the fact that we can’t make any more.

Everyone around me has been amazingly supportive.  The people I thought wouldn’t be overly concerned with my well being are the ones that are making it a little easier during this time.

I can’t think of anything else to say at the moment.  I hope this helps me.

Thanks for reading. Like I said, I hope this helps.

– James

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Music Played While Writing This Post:

Stevie Ray Vaughan – Texas Flood

Ozzy Osbourne – Gets Me Through

Rory Gallagher – As The Crow Flies

Quiet…

I am sitting in the living room, no TV, no Music. It’s really quiet.  Caitlyn is trying her hardest to play quietly. Maru is asleep and Freddy is wandering around.  This is how things go here during the week.  As quietly as possible.

Cry…

So,  I stumbled into the Quicktime Trailers site at Apple.com and came upon this little gem.

Then, while watching it, I started to cry.  I was crying because I realized that I was so caught up in the video that I picked up my phone and went to call my Dad to tell him about it, and that he needed to see it as soon as possible.

He would have been first in line to see this movie.  3 of his favorite musicians in the same place talking about what they love.  Talking about what he loved on a level that most can’t comprehend.  My father was the only musician I know that didn’t regularly play an instrument.  I am sorry that he won’t be able to see this.  I am sure I will watch it over and over again, as they are 3 of my favorite musicians too.  He taught me about Jimmy and Led Zeppelin, He taught me about The Edge and U2, and I gave him Jack White and the White Stripes, and The Raconteurs.

That’s usually the way it went. He gave me his lifetime of music, and I, sometimes, got to add to his playlist.

Foo Fighters, Metallica, Black Label Society… The list of music he introduced me too is vastly larger than what I gave him, and I will always, ALWAYS, be greatful for that!

I hope that I get to impart the intense love of music to Caitlyn as she grows up. There is hope, she was dancing to Jungle Love by Morris Day and The Time last night.  Her PuhPuh would be proud!  I even got her to say, “Who’s Stella is this?” 🙂

That’s all for now. Enjoy the clip.

It’s Been Awhile…

It’s been a little over a month since my last blog.  I haven’t had much to say.  I still don’t have a focused topic for y’all.  Yeah I said y’all, what you gonna do about it?

I have been in the Geek Squad now for about a month or so, I lost track do to the fact that I am only in the store 3 days a week.  I am loving it. The fact that I work with some cool people, and we are busy a lot makes the time fly by.  It’s very very low pressure.

We are past the 3 month mark of my fathers passing.  I am still having bad days here and there. I find the hardest time to pass is in the car to and from work. That and when there is some strange ass shit going down, or if I hear some good music or hear a good joke. Those were the times that I would call him and tell him about it.

I have been to the movies 2 times in the past week, I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and Star Trek.  Wolverine was complete Poo, and anyone who reads this blog knows I can go on and make a explitive filled post on how angry that movie made me.  Star Trek, however, was fantastic. This summer is chock full of stuff to see, Star Trek, Angels and Demons, Transformers 2. I am going to be a busy boy.

Recently added to the iPod are the Complete “You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore” by Frank Zappa, and 21st Century Breakdown by Green Day.  Old and New excellent music.  Frank Live can not be beat, and Green Day’s new album sounds like it will be just as good if not better than American Idiot!  Mark my words.

Caitlyn turned 3 this past Saturday.  Time sure does fly by.  She is turning out to be a great kid.  Defiant, but then again she does come by that naturally.

Caitlyn, 1 Day Old

Caitlyn, 1 Day Old

Caitlyn, 3 Years Old

Caitlyn, 3 Years Old

I am a very, very lucky man to have a great wife and amazing daughter!

Good Night All!

-James

Open Letter…

This is an open letter to you, the asshole coming from the other direction on the interstate.  You know who you are, you, yeah you, the idiot with your high beams on.  What’s the matter??  The lights from the cars around you and on the poles above you not enough?  If you are that fucking blind that you need your brights to drive, I am glad I am going in the opposite direction than you are.  You shouldn’t be driving retard!

Thank you, that is all.

-James

Freedom?

Without getting into all the details I am just posting this to inform readers that I have left Best Buy.  If you want all the details feel free to email me and I will give you the scoop.  Let’s just say that it was very ugly and under the worst possible circumstances.

If the new mangers are meant to be there to stir things up and make waves  and changes then job well done.  I didn’t know that calling employees out about how they are doing their job so that others can plainly hear is how things are done.  Respect is earned not granted to you.  Think about that the next time you decide to swing your manager “junk” around so others can see it.  It will be interesting to see whether the store where I built great friendships, and relationships with customers and employees alike survives someone that seems to act the opposite of how a model Best Buy employee is supposed to.  I don’t claim to be a model employee, but I did treat the people that respected me the same way.

Oh well, they don’t get to benefit from my expertise anymore.

I feel strangely liberated.  Now to find another job in retail. Stay tuned to find out whats going on!

Thanks for reading.

– James

Thanks

Everyone that reads this blog is aware of the events of this past Monday.

I want to thank each and every one of you that posted on my Facebook wall along with Dad’s, Emily’s.

I am still in a major daze and I wanted to post this before I forget.

It’s nice to know he was as major a force in all your lives as he was in mine. I’m sure once my fog clears I will have better more thought out things to say.

-James