Gary Fritz’ Laws

I try to follow a few rules in my life.  They will now be referred to as Gary Fritz’ Laws. He instilled these beliefs in me. Now that it has been about a yeah and a half since his passing I am relying more and more on these laws to get me through daily life. Since he used to be a phone call away when I needed him and ALWAYS got me though the bullshit, when the bullshit happens now, the phone can never be used.

Law #1:

Family First! – Above all else, NO EXCEPTIONS.

Law #2:

Trust No One! – Rather simple really. The law applies to people you don’t know well, but can serve you well with anyone.

Law #3:

Never Prey On Those That Are Defenseless Or Can’t Fight Back For Themselves! – His words to me were, “You do anything and everything in your power to put a stop to it.” (See Also, You want some mercy? Show some first.”)

Law #4:

There Will Always Be Someone Bigger, Faster, Stronger, etc. – Be humble, and if need be, fight dirty.  Be prepared to be fought dirty with, prepare to be humbled.

Law #5:

Emotional Content – Focusing your emotions in everything you do. Keep your emotions in check, and never letting them control you gives you greater control of your situation and the people around you. You will also expend less energy in reaching your goals. “It’s like a finger pointing a way to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.” – Yeah, Dad borrowed from Bruce Lee.

I can’t really think of anymore at this moment. I am sure there will be more to come.  It’s good to “write” them down.  Makes it easier to remember for later.

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Shake Off The Dust…Arise

I keep typing in this box. Deleting what I had put down and typing something different and deleting that.

I don’t have much to say.

Things have sort of leveled off emotionally and mentally for me. I didn’t really have time to grieve, so I figured it would be best not to.  It’s not how Dad would have wanted it anyway.

So, I fill my days with Caitlyn, music, movies, games, comics and reading about all of those things.

I am listening to the Valleys of Neptune album from the Hendrix vault. If you haven’t heard it, I strongly recommend doing so. Some tracks you have heard, some you have not, as well as different recordings of some of his others. The cut of Red House is 8 minutes of amazing.

Bought a, new to us anyway, car on Monday.  A 1996 Mercedes Benz E320. For 14 years old it is in excellent condition, and I feel we got it for a song.  I will be posting pictures of it when the weather clears and I can get it clean. We bought it on a VERY rainy day, and it hasn’t cleared up since.

Caitlyn is now 4. Active. Stubborn. Intelligent. and Amazing. It has been quite fun to be home with her almost every day.  She has quite an imagination, and entertains herself quite well. We won’t get into the fact that she has to be one of the most strong willed children I have encountered. EVER.

I think this is it for right now.

Been A Long Time Since I Rock And Roll’d

It has been forever since I have posted here. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am hungry already.

There isn’t much going on round these parts. We are all getting over a cold. Working, coping, surviving.

Thought I would break the silence here with a simple post, this time no promises of lots of posting.

I’ll save that for a new years resolution I am not going to keep.

Happy Holidays to All!

Hi There.

Thought I would stop by, and scare away all the feral animals that may be hiding in my blog.  It’s been a while since I have been here. Truth of the matter is, I haven’t had much to say.  I am just spending my time immersing myself in video games, or movies and music.  Everyday is still a challenge to get out of bed in order to do nothing at all.  There are so many things I want to do, I just can’t seem to find the drive or determination to see any of them through.  Some days are less hazy than others, but the bulk of my time is spent trying to stay awake, or trying to drive the sadness away.

We go on our trip to the beach in 10 days.  I can’t call it a vacation, because I am on vacation every week.  When you only work 3 days a week, you are on vacation all the time.

I am going to try to use the beach trip to heal. I plan on sitting on the beach and doing nothing but stare and for a large portion of it, just listen to the water.

I say that I am not going to neglect this blog, and that I will post to it regularly, but with nothing to say I find it hard to sit here and type.

So, I am going to go.  Maybe someday I will get back to posting here more often.

-James

A Note.

I feel that part of my healing process will have to be posting here.  This is what I hope to be the 1st of many notes to my dad.  Please stick with me while I let some of this out.  It might have some language in it that you may not find pleasing.  That is the least of my concern.  I have to open the taps on this mental pressure before I either snap, or start breaking things.  So, with that said…

I fucking miss you like hell. My head hurts and heart aches more everyday since you are gone.  I want to tell you thank you for teaching me about zen, life, music, movies.  I want to thank you for giving me the blueprint on how to be a man, father and husband and friend.

I realize I still have a lot to learn, and even more important a lot to put into practice.  I hope I am making you proud.

I am doing what I thought you would do.  Lose myself in the music.  Invariably there is a song that plays that triggers a memory of you.  I can deal with the memories, what I can’t deal with is the fact that we can’t make any more.

Everyone around me has been amazingly supportive.  The people I thought wouldn’t be overly concerned with my well being are the ones that are making it a little easier during this time.

I can’t think of anything else to say at the moment.  I hope this helps me.

Thanks for reading. Like I said, I hope this helps.

– James

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Music Played While Writing This Post:

Stevie Ray Vaughan – Texas Flood

Ozzy Osbourne – Gets Me Through

Rory Gallagher – As The Crow Flies

Quiet…

I am sitting in the living room, no TV, no Music. It’s really quiet.  Caitlyn is trying her hardest to play quietly. Maru is asleep and Freddy is wandering around.  This is how things go here during the week.  As quietly as possible.

Cry…

So,  I stumbled into the Quicktime Trailers site at Apple.com and came upon this little gem.

Then, while watching it, I started to cry.  I was crying because I realized that I was so caught up in the video that I picked up my phone and went to call my Dad to tell him about it, and that he needed to see it as soon as possible.

He would have been first in line to see this movie.  3 of his favorite musicians in the same place talking about what they love.  Talking about what he loved on a level that most can’t comprehend.  My father was the only musician I know that didn’t regularly play an instrument.  I am sorry that he won’t be able to see this.  I am sure I will watch it over and over again, as they are 3 of my favorite musicians too.  He taught me about Jimmy and Led Zeppelin, He taught me about The Edge and U2, and I gave him Jack White and the White Stripes, and The Raconteurs.

That’s usually the way it went. He gave me his lifetime of music, and I, sometimes, got to add to his playlist.

Foo Fighters, Metallica, Black Label Society… The list of music he introduced me too is vastly larger than what I gave him, and I will always, ALWAYS, be greatful for that!

I hope that I get to impart the intense love of music to Caitlyn as she grows up. There is hope, she was dancing to Jungle Love by Morris Day and The Time last night.  Her PuhPuh would be proud!  I even got her to say, “Who’s Stella is this?” 🙂

That’s all for now. Enjoy the clip.